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The Men Forgot Michelle on THE BACHELORETTE Season 18 Week 4 Recap


“The Bachelorette” season 18 week 4 was during the aftermath of surprise villain Jamie’s exit.  The men were glad that Jamie was gone.  Romeo said he drank the Jamie kool aid.  Casey and the rest of the men were happy that Michelle is a good judge of character and “booted” Jamie out last week.   In the meantime, Michelle was discussing the events of last week with co-host Kaitlyn Bristowe.

Michelle said that her biggest worry is being vulnerable with somebody and realizing that they’re a different person – talking about Jamie.  “Moving forward I’m going to push myself to be vulnerable with these guys.  If there’s another situation where my intuition is giving me red flags, I’m going to have to address that situation.”  Michelle said the men are really good at being vulnerable, and it looking forward to the guys to continue to be “all in,”

Host Tayshia Adams arrived to tell the men that this week there will be “two incredible one-on-one dates” and one group date.  She left the men with the first date card.  The date card read:  “Martin,  let’s get love back on track. – Love Michelle.”   Olu was suspicious of Martin because he was such good friends with Jamie.


Pictured: MARTIN, MICHELLE YOUNG. Photo: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Michelle said the date with Martin was a test since she knows he was close with Jamie.  She said she wants to see if she can give him her trust.  Michelle and Martin met on a race track.   Michelle rode up in a race car that someone else was driving incredibly fast.  The date began with them riding some BMW race cars at the BMW Performance Center track.  There was a representative there to train them how to slide a BMW.

After their training Michelle and Martin soaked in a hot tub with champagne.  Michelle brought-up the subject of Jaime with Martin to see his reaction.  He said he thought Jamie was a “good guy.”   Martin said he wasn’t upset at Michelle for getting rid of Jamie because he’s trying to build a connection with her.  Michelle said she felt that her decision on Jame was “potentially being questioned, and that wasn’t a good feeling.”

During dinner, Michelle sought clarification from Marin in regards to Jaime.  Martin told Michelle that he’s very straight forward and he doesn’t cry.  It’s how he was raised.  Martin said he thinks he has gotten a lot better at showing his emotion. He looks at things logically.    Michelle said she’s not good at PDA.  In college, she pushed herself to be open.  She said when she got home, she was able to be more open with her parents.

Back at the house:  The men got the group date card which read:  “Will, Chris S., Casey, Chris G., Leroy, Rodney, Olu, Brandon, Clayton, Joe, Romeo, Nayte.  Surrender to love…Love Michelle.”  That meant that Rick got the one-on-one date with Michelle.  Nayte reacted that he wasn’t upset about not getting the one-on-one date because it’s a matter of when.  He’s not worried and he feels that he’s in a good spot.

Back to Michelle & Martin:  Michelle said when she speaks to Martin about something there’s a change that’s applied and “that’s not very common.”  She gave him the date rose.  Michelle said her and Martin’s relationship progressed.  Martin is challenging himself to open up and that’s really important to her.  The date ended with them looking at the stars inside a planetarium.




There was a knock at the door.  Nayte answered the door and came back with a slew of gift bags.  Each one with a different man’s name on it.  Inside the bags were pajamas for the men to wear.  It’s the biggest group date that Michelle has had with twelve men.  Michelle arrived in pajamas to pick up the men for their date.

They got to a sleepover type setup.   During the date, there were a lot of distractions such as: pizza, foot Jacuzzis, cotton candy, build-a-bears.   The men were so busy with those things that clearly they forgot about Michelle!  They men got to make their own stuffed teddy bears.  Michelle had to call over Clayton for him to come spend time with her.  Michelle was upset that they guys were having too much fun with themselves male bonding and not spending time with her.

Pictured: THE BELLA TWINS. Photo: ABC/Craig Sjodin

The next part of the date had the Bella Twins as guests to demonstrate “The Ultimate Teddy Bear Take-down” which was fighting with big stuffed teddy bears.  They were divided up into two different teams, using the teddy bears that they had just made.  Some of the pairings were Clayton vs. Joe.

Rodney vs. Leroy, Will vs. Nayte, Chris S. vs. Casey.  Then it was Olu vs. Brandon which was a clear miss-match!  Olu compared the match-up to a black panther (himself) vs. a mouse (Brandon).  The twins told the losing team that they had to “grab their teddy bears and head back home.”  The winning Team celebrated and asked where their trophy was.  But, no one went up to Michelle at all.  She continued to feel unseen.

Michelle took some time to talk to Kaitlyn in private.  Kaitlyn said it may be unintentional.  Michelle recalled on the poetry date, she recalled being overlooked at times.  “There were no relationships romantically for so long . I felt that I was the token black girl for so long  I wasn’t seen.”  She thought going into this, that she would never feel like that and she was frustrated.


Michelle told them that she always wants to be 100% transparent with them.   She brought up the date from last week at the poetry date and not being seen.  “I feel like I’m putting in so much effort at making small moments with you guys” and she felt that it wasn’t being reciprocated.

Olu took Michelle’s comments to heart and became emotional.  Michelle told Nayte in their time alone that she feels that she’s giving more.  Nayte reassured her that she is “definitely being seen” and he’s sorry for making her feel that way.  In his confessional, he said he feels terrible.  Olu said he thinks they lost sight of why they were there (earlier).  Clayton admitted to Michelle that he’s been holding back because he’s “playing it safe.”

Michelle expressed that she did not feel that the men were there for her.  Each man came up to Michelle one at a time to talk to her in private.  Olu said it pained him because he saw his four sisters go through the same thing.  “Not feeling loved…these are things I’ve seen my sisters grow up with.”  He told Michelle how he told his sisters repeatedly that the right man would come into their lives.  He told her that he appreciates her.  Michelle thanked Olu for showing his emotion “as a black man” and it means so much.  “That’s what makes me feel seen.”

Michelle rejoined all of the men and she thanked them for making her feel a little more heard.  She gave the Group Date Rose to Olu for showing his vulnerability.  She said “tonight I feel that I was heard.”  Michelle said she’s glad that she made it known how she was feeling.  “There are people around you who will do anything and everything that they can to get you back on track,” Michelle said.


Rick’s date card read “the sky’s the limit.”  Rick was excited and said it could be his first date with his future wife.  Rick said he wants to let Michelle know that he’s there for her from day one.  Michelle was excited for the date because Rick told her that he sees her from the start.  So, it’s something she doesn’t have to worry about.

Michelle told Rick that she’s ready to take their relationship to “new heights” and how does he feel about heights?  He was a little squeamish.  The two went up in a cable car together to look at the spectacular view of trees and mountains.  After landing, they took a romantic walk through the woods.  Michelle described it as a “breath of fresh air” being there with Rick.

They found a wish box.  Before leaving their own wish, they had to read all the wishes there before them.  Michelle read a wish that wished for the kind of love like her grandparents had.  Michelle said Amen to that.  When Rick read the wish “I wish my dad could see the man I’ve become”  he teared up because he related.  He said his toughest challenge in life was seeing someone you love struggling and not being able to help them.

Rick walked away from that feeling like he could tell Michelle anything and that they’re connecting on a much deeper level.  He said she makes it feel easy, and “it’s never felt easy.”  Michelle said the date did take them to new heights.  She’s ready to give him the time to express himself the way he needs.

During dinner, Rick told Michelle that he’s been blessed to have both parents in his life. Most of the time his dad was a good father and a good husband.   But, other times he wasn’t.  Rick, at age 17, said two weeks before Christmas, while his parents were out shopping, he looked at a text on his Dad’s phone.  It was from another woman.  Rick told his mom a day later.

Rick said about three days after Christmas, his mom woke him up and told him that he and his brother were moving out with her to their grandparent’s house.  He told Michelle the story of how his Dad was found dead on the floor by his friend.  Rick lives with the guilt of splitting up his parents because of the text.  Michelle said those emotional scars that Rick has, made him the amazing man that he is.  Rick said he’s taking advantage of every moment that he gets with Michelle and is looking forward to that moment when he can say he loves her.  Michelle was taken back by that and said she was not ready for that.

Pictured: MICHELLE YOUNG, RICK, ANDY GRAMMER. Photo by: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Michelle told Rick that she can be herself with him. She added that the day was one of her favorite days and he did everything possible to make her feel seen.  She gave Rick the date rose.  They were serenaded by Andy Grammer’s live performance of “Lease on Life” after that and danced.


Chris S. handed a drink to Michelle when she came down the stairs to greet the men.  Chris S. made an announcement that he wasn’t at the After Party the other night and he thinks there are guys there that think they “have it in the bag.”  He said the guys that think they have it in the bag should speak up and go home.  Michelle acknowledged that it’s been a hard week, and at the After Party she didn’t feel seen.  “Nobody has it in the bag,” she told them. “I want someone who sees me as much as I see them.”

Pictured: MICHELLE YOUNG, CHRIS S. Photo: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Brandon asked to speak to Michelle first.  Chris S. cut-in and said he is going to talk to Michelle first.  Michelle went with Chris S. to talk.  The other guys were upset that Chris S. “derailed the Cocktail Party and made it about him.”  Chris S. talked to Michelle in private about how he felt that there’s people there who aren’t putting in the effort.   He told her that when the date card arrived, Nayte said “I already know I’m going to get one.  It’s just a matter of when. So this doesn’t really matter.”   Michelle was upset.

When Chris S. rejoined the group of men, Nayte said “that was weird as hell.”  They didn’t understand why he’s sabotaging everything.  Nayte said it was a “strategic move, but in the worst way possible.”  During Nayte’s alone time with Michelle, she told him what Chris S. said about him.  Michelle told Nayte that she’s not some prize to win at the end of this thing and she shouldn’t have to fight for someone’s attention.

After Nayte left the conversation with Michelle, he was mad as hell and immediately pulled Chris S. to speak in private.  Chris S. told Nayte what he told Michelle about him.  Chris S. said she “probed” him for information.  They were arguing upstairs and in sight of the other men.  Nayte asked Chris S. who else is on his list to get.  Chris S. said he doesn’t have a list.  Nayte called him a “weirdo” and a “dweeb.”  Romeo said they all agree that Chris S. is a snake and threw all the men under the bus.

Joe told Michelle that he has feelings for her and never wants her to feel unseen.  Michelle said she can see that Joe is challenging himself to push himself out of his comfort zone.

Olu told Chris S. that he probably wasn’t getting a rose because of the stunt he pulled.


Michelle told hosts Tayshia and Kaitlyn that it’s been the toughest week but is happy that she was able to speak her peace.  Michelle told the men that the information she received tonight was not easy to hear and she had the conversations that she needed to have and is ready to move forward.

Men who had roses:  Rick, Olu, Martin

Roses went to: Brandon, Leroy, Joe, Rodney, Clayton, Casey, Nayte, Chris S.

Men who went home: Chris G., Will, Romeo

Pictured: MICHELLE YOUNG, CHRIS S. Photo: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Michelle put on a serious face and said she has big news to share.  “There’s going to be a lot that’s changing,”  She’s going to head back to Minneapolis, Minnesota, and they’re all coming back with her.  The guys will get to see where she grew up.

NEXT WEEK:  Michelle is back home. The guys have a baseball challenge, and a warrior challenge.  Michelle and Joe play some basketball.  Chris S. is seen being worried, and jealous of Nayte.   The men who are forming deeper romantic relationships with include: Clayton, Nayte, Rodney, Martin, Rick, Joe, Brandon.  Brandon, and Joe are seen crying.  Some of the men are talking about a guy there that is threatened. Maybe Chris S.?  “It wouldn’t shock me if he takes down other men with him.”



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